Tag: lgbtq

• Do you know that you do that?

  It’s so fucking obvious,
  You control manipulate and tear others down.
  I’ve been here on the sidelines watching
  This game that you play.
  You turned being queer and gay
  Into a sport –

  Not the kind that’s fun to engage,
  But the kind that’s more like a train wreck.
  We can’t help but stop and stare,
  Shaking heads in disbelief, even enraged –
  Like, did nobody see this disaster coming?
  It’s like only desperation was on deck
  Before the ship went down sinking
  Into this chaos you cause.

  You’re the villain i hate to love.
  But I do have in me a soft place for your fragile ego;
  It’s not a place that should be in a body of a Leo.
  And it wouldn’t be if not for being raised by the best
  At manipulation and intimidation and breaking me down bit by bit –
  Words that would shatter or put you into cardiac arrest
  If you knew the view of you I have from this close.
  You can’t hide that your intentions are crueler than most.
  Yet, I can’t help but excuse it.

  Like a dog you find injured on the side of the road
  Retching and seething, baring teeth to stay back
  It’ll be alright, you tell them
  Until eating out of your hand they surrender the attack,
  The self-preservation your initial presence triggered,
  Because we’re nothing if not evolutionarily figured
  To see danger coming from a distance –
  It’s why I put up such shameless resistance
  When you first slid into my DMs.

  September 7, 2025

  bully, flashbacks, friendships, lesbians, lgbtq, life, mean, mental-health, nonbinary, ptsd, queer, recovery, trauma, writing

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• Until we’ve all learned

  I wish it wasn’t such a burden
  to feel every little thing, so deep and rich.
  Its dark and thick behind this curtain
  where sounds can still ring out in unbearable pitch.

  At once both grateful and in awe of
  a body molded with great care and epic purpose,
  but twice resentful of the club
  it joined me to for all my existence

  in this life I’m sure I consented to.
  Save my bloodline and right our history-
  NO way, the details I then knew
  how painful the trail to justice and glory

  would cost. How wholly lonely
  and stifling all this feeling would
  day after long day leave me-
  wishing I could be understood

  for more than my suffering and my tears.
  But goddamn it hurts in this beautiful body-
  the one into which jealous eyes peer
  without understanding it’s much more foggy

  than it could ever be truly clear;
  that feeling fully means an intimate knowing
  of one’s wildest and most engrossing fears.
  All you see is my skin glowing

  and my eyes radiant with light,
  but what I wish you also took in
  more than what’s in sight.
  I know the chances are real slim

  unless like me you live as outcast
  of the current prescribed norm.
  The one that arrogantly pushes past
  our no to quietly conform

  to the standards set forth by
  a humanity numbed to the bone.
  Rules fully feeling bodies cannot abide
  without abandoning what’s ancient and known

  as truth – the universal kind –
  a truth felt in the body deep,
  and meant to union body, soul, and mind
  such that of this land and life, great care we keep.

  Instead, the powers that be
  intimidate and forcefully
  convince us we’re only free
  when we give up easily

  our birthright of wellness and peace,
  which we can access outside the system
  of capitalistic rush and greed.
  You see, there is no you versus them.

  There is only we, one, together
  fully sharing in the load;
  no longer keeping track of turns.
  Forget the line that splits the road;

  for we’re all walking each other home.
  In community we must travel
  so that each of us can be known and shown
  that when the hard times unravel

  our hearts and bodies from our souls,
  it’s in witnessing the other with great attention
  that beauty, truth, and healing we uphold.
  In proximity with honest intention

  to trust, facilitate and believe
  the lived experience of one another;
  until we’ve all learned the meaning of gently.
  Then, may in love and connection we uncover

  that the point of all of this
  feeling fully joy and immense pain
  was not to fight or somehow miss
  each other on the way to soon see you again.

  August 23, 2025

  community, flashbacks, friend, friendships, healing, lgbtq, life, love, mental-health, poetry, ptsd, recovery, sexual asssault, spirituality, trans, trans lives, trauma, writing

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